exercise

I have a desire to look fit.  I also want to feel good and take care of my body.  I think this is a stress because it is a thing I SHOULD be doing as well as a thing I want to be doing.  Why am I not doing this then?  I have limited time and I guess I choose to spend my time on my children's needs, my husband's needs and other things I feel I should be doing.  Taking care of my body is something that is easily put off because "one day" of not exercising won't make a huge difference.  Exercising is a "selfish" use of my time as it is on myself.  My children seem to have unlimited needs that I seem to put before my own.  I know that when I take care of myself I am better able to take care of others, but.....  I guess I also put it off because I don't want to.  It is tough to get into shape especially after 5 children and the road with least resistance is easier to take.

I feel pressure from him to always do more household work when he asks me what I have done today.  I feel like my husband will think I am wasting my time if I spend my time exercising vs. doing household work.  This is not the case however.  I have spent a couple mornings walking my two youngest children in the mornings and my husband has said he is proud of me.  I feel suprised by this.

I feel resentful that my husband doesn't want to watch the kids while I go work out.  He wants me to work out in the early AM while they are all asleep including him.  I know they are young and it is diffacult for him to watch them.  I wish he would put forth more sacrifice for my needs to go exercise.

I felt like having this as one of my 4 stress management goals would help me to exercise better.  Turns out it is just as diffacult as it was before.  There are reasons that I haven't been working out and if the reason's are not addressed then the problem will still be there.  I think that journaling however is helping me to fix the problem as I reach inside to see what is really going on.

The exercise I did today was unloading the truck at the dump and playing duck duck goose with the kids.  Bad but typical.  Need to do better.

Not going to have much time today so I went on a walk with 5 kids.  Some is better than none.  I can see my stress is better because of walking and being outside.  Walking with 5 kids  causes some of it's own stresses.